Fragility
by Annalisae
Summary: Behind the hardest aggressiveness, the greatest fragility is hidden. A one-shot divided in two parts, Remus/Ginny. Rated M. Self-provoked vomit. Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** A one-shot (divided in two parts) where I pushed myself really far, I hope that you'll see what I saw in these words. I hope you'll like it, because I pushed myself into this. But, however, I'm happy and proud of this result as it is, even though every critic is welcomed. I have to say that I wrote this, or actually I started writing this just after having read **Hurt** a fanfiction by **cravenroad7**. Don't ask me why I wrote _this_, but the importance of Hurt, the themes that are mentioned in that fic, made me trying to push myself into this. I'm crazy, I know. But it's how I write, I usually do to celebrate something, maybe a film, a book, a _fic_ I liked as it happened with Hurt. Now I'll shut up. Read and enjoy!

**Advertisements:** This piece of fic contains themes that are not adapted to a sensible reader. If you're disturb, don't read.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters and I'm not making moeney by writing this story.

* * *

**F_ragility_**

_Behind the hardest aggressiveness, the greatest fragility is hidden._

_How did I arrive here?_ - She asked herself pulling two fingers out of her throat. How did she arrive to hurt herself, to not care for her body nor for her soul?

A single tear left her eyes, gently falling to the ground. It hurt, she felt pain, everytime she provoked herself vomit. It was destructive but she felt the urge to do it, even though she _knew_ it wouldn't have taken her anyway.

She tried to stand up, but her legs were shaking hardly, she couldn't control it.

She could feel her hair sweaty for the effort of emptying her stomach. She could imagine her harsh voice if she had tried to speak. She could imagine her red eyes, her broken capillaries brighten in the green irises of her.

Her whole body hurt, badly, her soul was crying, crying because her conscience knew this wasn't right, but at the same time, this was what she needed to feel better. Every time she emptied her stomach and she felt the pain, something inside of her was happy, she had inside herself more strength to face life.

Nobody would have ever imagined what was happening to her, nobody. She was the perfect girl she has always been, nothing in her behavior ever changed. She just stopped longer in the bathroom; she was only a bit thinner, nothing else.

Maybe it was a desperate call she did to her parents, to her family to be noticed. She was the younger, she was the "baby". But nobody looked after her, nobody looked at her, nobody said "You made something good, Ginny." There was no time for her, she had to be patient, she had to wait, she had to listen, but nobody ever listened to what she had to say.

When they were eating, the unique moment when they were all together, as she tried to speak, somebody began to talk over her. And she didn't protest, because they were all people she loved. But did anybody love her?

They haven't noticed she was anorexic yet, how could they love her? They just didn't want to see something they didn't like, and probably she was one of those things.

"Ginny, have you finished?"

Charlie's voice came out of the blue, the girl forced her body to stand up, cleared her throat twice and then replied. "Yes, just give me one minute."

Washing her face, cleaning all the bad she did, she stared at her reflexion. She had grown up, or maybe her expression seemed more mature, too mature for her age. Her eyes weren't innocent anymore, there was an heavy truth inside those green irises, a truth unknown for everybody apart from her. Nobody saw her, nobody looked at her as a human being, so why did she have to possess a body? Why did she have the slender and long twin arms? And what about her legs? She was nothing, she was...

A knock disturbed her thoughts. "I'm waiting!" exclaimed her brother impatiently.

"I'm coming...!" replied Ginny a little angered. Did anyone respect her?

"Finally!" commented the boy before entering in the bathroom. Will they ever understand?

Slowly she went upstairs, ready to refuge herself in her room to think.

There's was fog outside, a deep blanket covered the scenery of which she was so in love with. It was cold, she froze shivering as she felt a gust of wind from her bedroom. Merlin, she had left her window opened! Autumn was slowly approaching, the summer was dying and school would soon begin again. Nothing worse could ever happen.

When she was in others company, she was completely different to the "good, childish, normal" Ginny her family knew. She had learnt to build a barrier, a cold screen behind which she hid perfectly. It was a screen of confidence, of anger and aggressiveness that covered her fragility. She searched for every company she was able to find so she was called "bitch" by her classmates. But they couldn't understand, she needed to be like this, otherwise she felt ripped apart. Experiencing shock feelings was the only way to keep herself alive.

As she reached the upper floor a voice called her. "What do you want, Ron?" she replied indifferent.

"Tomorrow Hermione and Harry are arriving," said her brother "Tidy up your room, Hermione is going to sleep with you."

Anger burnt inside of her as the boy closed the door in front of her face. What was she? An object? No, Viktor Krum's model was better treated.

She slammed the door of her bedroom, falling on her bed and silently crying. Frustration fell on her, almost suffocating her, tears were so dry it was painful to cry. She had cried too much in the past.

She could feel the cold outside freezing her soul, she didn't close the window, she didn't want to. The wind was embracing her like nobody ever did, neither her numerous lovers embraced her as the wind did. She remembered Dean, Ron's classmate, Roger Davies, Cedric Diggory too. But there were others, Blaise Zabini from Slytherin, George Warrintong and Draco Malfoy too. There had been so many people that had violated her soul and her body she couldn't even remember. She had lost the count, if she ever counted them, she needed to be used, she needed to be violated to stay alive, she needed those great painful feelings to prove herself she was a human being.

A sob escaped from her lips as her hands tightened on the cushion. She wanted to cry, she wanted to cry so hard that her voice would have ripped apart, that the all world would have heard her screaming, but no sound escaped her throat, not anymore.

Like always. It had always been like this, and always will remain.

* * *

A week had passed from that horrible afternoon but nothing had changed, she was the same transparent Ginny and her family was the same blind family she was so used to.

"Will you help me preparing the table, Ginny?" asked Molly Weasley while she was cooking a big turkey.

"Yeah." replied humbly the 18 girl. She would have liked to shout at her mother, refusing to do everything she was told to do, but the words never came out. And so she prepared the dishes, she counted the glasses and she prepared every single fork and knife they needed. Sometimes she felt the urge of hurt herself, physically, with more than the vomit. The knife's tip brightened inviting her to use it, but she forced herself to think to something else.

"Good girl, Ginny." said Molly with a smile. It would have been better for Ginny that her mother had never done that comment because she felt so stupid, so unuseful and so bad she wanted to put two fingers in her throat and vomit her whole being.

"You need to prepare another place, Ginny." Molly advised the daughter taking care of the turkey patiently.

"Why?" asked the girl harshly.

"Remus is coming tonight," simply replied Molly.

Ginny prepared another place, one place more, one place left, what was the difference? There was not any difference, it was all the same to her, and to everybody too.

"Where are Harry, Ron and Hermione?" asked then Ms Weasley.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Ginny frustrated. "Why don't you call them? I'm not your slave!" she cried with all her voice.

"Ehi little girl! Watch your tone!" exclaimed Molly Weasley staring at her daughter who slammed the kitchen's door behind herself. She glanced once more towards the door, the image of Ginny still lingering in her mind, was something strange?

No.

She replied herself shaking her head and paying once more attention to the turkey. Ginny was always the little good girl she has always been.

Ginny stopped in front of the stairs, looking intensely upstairs. The voices amazed of Harry, Ron and Hermione were echoing in her mind, tediously repeating in her ears. Were they laughing? Were they having fun? Yes, they have. Alone. Only the three of them. She was not one of the Trio, she was the little humble Ginny. Anger burnt inside herself, as she ran out of the house, her legs were shaking as they tried to run as fast as they could.

Born to be alone. She had no friends, and even though she had have, it would have been any difference, every man live and die alone. Nobody will have ever understand her, so why did she have to find someone to call "friend?".

Some times she had tried to speak to Hermione, she was the person for the most similar to a friend. But it seemed the strength left her just as she reached Hermione's room or someone just stepped in the room and interrupted them. Ginny had tried, maybe could have tried more, but she had lost any faith she ever had.

There were clouds at the horizon, big, gray, stormy clouds. They were roaring, threatening to discharge every single drop of rain they contained. Ginny stared at them. There were birds that were flying fast in the gray sky, shouting with their little verse so unintelligible to her. The wind was strong, the noise of the autumn's leaves was everywhere around her as she stopped running. She was still in the garden of the Burrow.

How she wanted to be outside! How she wanted to be one of those birds! Or, why not, one of those clouds, full of emotions, full of freedom...

She reached a thorny bush and cut her wrists on a sharp thorn and she felt the warm hot blood descending on her arm. It was alive, more alive than her soul. She touched that red liquid and she shivered. Then she felt something in her heart, something heavy, something painful and she started crying with no reason.

Half an hour later, Ginny came back in the house, she hadn't healed her cut, she wanted it to stay there, to remind her of her suffering. Maybe, unconsciously she hoped someone noticed it.

As she entered in the house, she noticed Ron and Harry who were playing chess, while Hermione was reading book.

"Ginny!" exclaimed Ron as he saw the sister. "Were have you been?"

"None of your busi..." she started replying.

"Ginny," interrupted Molly, "Look at Hermione, she's reading a book, you should do the same! That's why you never get high marks at school!" said Molly reproaching the daugther.

"I will," replied Ginny knowing that she would have never done something like that. "I'm going upstairs, I need to rest a bit." she announced moving towards the stairs.

"In one hour dinner will be ready," said Ms Weasley advertising the little Ginny. She shook her head and started going upstairs.

Embracing herself she prayed, she prayed things to be different. She felt sometimes as if it were all her fault, as if her family wasn't responsible. They loved her, they have always tried to make her feel comfortable, they had given a lot, despite being so poor. But why at the same time they were so terribly selfish? How could they not see what was happening inside herself?

It was not how things had to be.

She shook vigorously her head, trying to forget, trying to become normal. Her bed was waiting for her, waiting for her little body to embrace, and so she spread out on the bed, feeling comfortable, feeling free.

Loneliness was the key of her life. The more she stood alone, the best she felt. Life was too painful to be lived. Even though, pain was the only thing important in her life. It was for the pain she lived, it was to feel that ache in her stomach that she provoked herself vomit, it was to feel the pain on her wrists, the blood on her arm, on her hands that she cut herself. It was like, escaping pain, it was the only thing she could find.

In a fetal position she closed her eyes, embracing her knees with her arms, feeling so ripped apart that nothing, nothing in the world would ever be able to make her feel normal, _happy._

Had she ever felt happy in her short life? She thought back to her childhood. She still remembered her father, when he embraced her and put her up towards the sky so that she pretended to fly. She could still feel his great, warm, secure hands on her waist, and she could still see the smile on his face. Why didn't he smile to her anymore?

Had she done something wrong?

"Why...?" she whispered in the silence of her room. "Why!" She shout knowing that nobody would have ever listened.

She stood up, walking towards the mirror, staring carefully at her figure. "You're worth living." she said herself looking exactly into her irises. "You don't deserve what you're doing yourself." she pronounced forcefully. "You don't deserve this." She said looking at her wrist's cut. _You don't deserve pain... You didn't anything wrong._

Her serious face stared back, didn't anything else, just stared were high voices downstairs, she had to go.

Tonight she would have been different, she would have been kind, gentle, well disposed towards everybody, she would have helped, she wouldn't have thought, she would have just acted "normally".

With anxiety she went downstairs.

* * *

"Things at the Ministry...?"

"...Yeah, me and Harry are thinking to become Aurors, you know..."

"...No, I don't think I'll follow Ron and Harry, I'd like more to work at Hogwarts..."

Voices, voices as whispers continued to pass through her mind. There were so many people at the Burrow and nobody _really_ meant something to her. She stepped in the kitchen, as a ghost, without a body, but she did have a **soul**.

"Dinner's ready!" exclaimed Molly capturing the attention of everybody.

Fred, George, Charlie, Bill, Ron, Harry, Hermione... Her father, Moody, Remus sat down, admiring the perfect inviting food Molly had cooked.

The only sight of food made Ginny sick. She swallowed. She was strong, she could face it.

But why was her heart pumping so hardly in her chest?

"Oh, Ginny, you're hear...! Please take the turkey and put it in the center of the table, then dear," Her mother said with a smile, "Could you bring me some leaves of the plants outside, please?"

Ginny breathed quickly, she closed her eyes, once or twice than nodded obeying to what her mother had asked.

"Hi father," Ginny whispered looking at her father as Arthur was talking to Moody about something "important" that had happened that morning at the Ministry.

Arthur smiled back.

"So, how are things at Hogwarts, Ginny?" asked her a deep voice as she was turning to sit down. She searched for the speaker. It was Remus.

"Just say that holiday is always better than school," said Ginny with a sad tone in her voice.

"You never want to study!" Molly reproached her, "If you were like Hermione..."

Ginny glanced angered at her mother, she almost felt hate towards her, almost.

"Oh, I'm sure Ginny thinks as every other teenager of her age," replied Remus with a smile towards the little red head.

"Yes, surely," replied Ginny seriously, "But I'm not supposed to be as every other teenager..." Her comment was a whisper, meant not to be heard by anybody, but Remus caught it, his expression changed suddenly. No one else noticed it.

"What do you think, mum?" asked then the twins "Could we go back to Hogwarts to greet our old teachers?"

"They might kill you, boys." Replied Arthur.

"Oh, come on dad!" exclaimed Fred with a smile, "I'm sure Piton would be really happy to see us." he said laughing.

"Yeah, just before to have an heart attack," interrupted Ginny smiling slightly.

"Exactly what I would like it happened!" replied George glancing a complicity look. "I'm sure the students would pay us millions of Galleons if anything happened to Piton..." commented Fred thoughtfully.

"That's sure," said Ginny feeling more comfortable.

There was a beautiful calm atmosphere which was loved by Ginny. It was as if she were came back to the times when she felt good, inside her body, deep inside her heart, with no thoughts, with no preoccupation in her mind, with nothing else that passion towards the life. It felt good.

"I'm sure you're exaggerating..." commented Remus, "I don't want to imagine what you were saying about me while I was a teacher." said with a veil of preoccupation in his voice.

"Come on! You were Professor Sweety!" exclaimed Ginny and Fred at the same time.

Remus almost suffocated himself with the piece of turkey he was eating. Suddenly he started coughing, his face becoming red. Every body who looked at him was laughing, and since so much time, also Ginny laughed, a genuine beautiful laughter.

"W-what was I?" asked Remus as he stopped coughing.

"I didn't know anything about this nickname!" protested Hermione glancing towards the Twins and Ginny who were smiling happily in front of the funny discomfort of the teacher.

"That's because you spent your time studying and you don't do anything else," replied dryly Fred.

"Anyway, we called you Professor Sweety because you were the sweetest teacher actually." explained George serious.

"I'm sure, Remus they were joking, now, Fred, George, Ginny," said Molly harshly, "Say excuse to Remus."

"Molly, I don't care," replied Remus smiling to the red-heads.

"Come on, mum!" protested Fred "We weren't the ones to invent it..."

"I don't care, you should have not called him that way." she continued rigidly.

The smile on Ginny's face had disappeared. Rigidness, maybe that was that made her life so painful. Maybe she should have left immediately. Merlin, she hated her mother. Why she had to act so?

Her father incited them to excuse towards Remus who was so embarrassed of the situation. Her father, probably she hated him too. He was so weak.

The conversation began again, but she had lost her strength, her purpose and her wanting of acting normally had died, immediately, suddenly. She just heard the other speaking, but she didn't spoke anymore, refuging in a world of her own. Suddenly all she had eaten weighed on her stomach like a stone, and she felt the urge of emptying her stomach.

"Stay here Ginny," said Molly "We haven't finished eating."

"I..." tried to say the girl.

"Sit down." insisted her mother pointing the chair left.

"I need to take a bit of fresh air," protested Ginny.

"Sit down," continued Molly.

Without answering, Ginny left the room, exiting in the garden.

She felt rage, and hate inside of her, she wanted that equilibrium she had felt talking with Fred and George, and Remus and Moody, she wanted to feel that comfortable feeling that she was able to sense only when she was far away from a family. She didn't want a family anymore.

Merlin...

Had she really thought to leave her family? The people that most of all loved her? So fool she was. She loved Molly, she loved Arthur, hating them at the same time. But she knew she would have loved them always.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I know. It's been more than a year. I'm sorry, I really am. But, it couldn't be otherwise. I had to study for school, for the conservatory. I'm really sorry. I hope this doesn't come too late. As always, hope you like it.

* * *

**F_ragility_**

_Behind the greatest aggressiveness, the greatest fragility is hidden._

* * *

"It's beautiful here." said a voice behind her.

Ginny turned herself to see whose voice was speaking and she saw Remus Lupin standing.

She didn't replied and stared in front of her. She didn't want anyone. She needed nobody. What did he want?

"May I sit?" he asked.

_As if he needed permission._ Thought Ginny in her mind. "Do what you want." she replied harshly.

"Someone tonight is nervous." commented her old teacher.

She looked away. She didn't care to be nervous. She wanted to be left alone. She didn't want anyone.

"Your mother was sad as you left...-"

"She wasn't sad. She just didn't like how I acted, I didn't behave _composedly_. And she can't stand it." said Ginny. "She hate me probably." she whispered. She didn't intend to be heard by Remus, but he caught her comment.

"Ginny, I think you're misunderstanding...-"

"You don't know anything, Remus." replied with a higher tone Ginny. "Nobody knows anything about me." She stood up and tried to get away.

He blocked her, catching her arm and holding it tight. She looked at his hand then locked her eyes in his.

Dark chocolate.

Sweet and tender.

Intense.

He looked at her, studying her old student. His eyes lingered on her wounds. But then he let go and Ginny went away.

_Everybody let go with me. That's the rule. Nobody really care._

* * *

It was late. It was too late, but she couldn't sleep.

She got up, trying to be the more silent possible. Hermione was sleeping relaxed in the bed next to her.

The house was silent.

Nothing was alive, _nobody_ was alive, apart from her.

But Ginny didn't feel alive.

The girl closed the room of her bedroom and sit down in the corridor. The parchment was cold, she curled in a ball and squeezed her knees to her chest.

How was it possible that nobody saw what was happening? How? Was she so invisible?

Yes, she was. What did she pretended?

She felt rage growing inside.

She wanted to be someone. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be considered a woman, not just the little Ginny.

She imagined herself realized, beautiful and perfect. Yes, why not? Why not _perfect?_

Why couldn't she be like others? Why couldn't she be as perfect as others?

_Nobody is perfect._

This was a lie. Lots of people _were_ perfect. Lots of people were lucky.

She wasn't nobody of these categories. She was Ginny. Ginny Weasley, a loser.

She wanted to punish herself. She felt the urge to hurt herself, so she stood up and went downstairs. Nobody could hear her over there. She went to the kitchen and grab the knife in her hand. She watched as the pointed tip cut her delicate, pale skin. A drop of blood slided on her arm. It hurt. It was a deep wound, and Ginny wanted to go further, she wanted to feel more pain, she wanted to feel more alive. The girl closed her eyes and cut again. More blood slipped and dipped the floor. She didn't care.

She bit her lower lip, trying not to shout. Blood came also from her mouth. Her eyes, full of tears, were red and the green of her irises clashed with it. But at that moment, she felt happy. Only when she was full of grief she felt happy.

Ginny put down the knife and began to cry embracing herself. No sound came out of her mouth. She was shaking for rage, for pain. Not physical grief, something lot more painful. Where did she go wrong? Why she wasn't normal?

_Crack._

She heard a noise. What was it?

Footsteps approached to the kitchen, she had to hide. Ginny could feel her heart beating furiously, madly in her chest. She didn't want to be discovered. Foolish, wasn't it? Everything she did was to catch the attention of the people around her, and now she was so afraid that someone could see her now? See her true nature? See her destroyed? Ripped apart?

She moved quickly but it was too late. Someone entered in the kitchen and that someone saw her.

"What are you doing still awaken?"

Deep voice. Warm and delicate. Remus' voice.

Ginny was shaking slightly afraid that he might discover her. She tried to hide her arm, but another time, it was _too late._

"What did you do?" asked Remus approaching her. "Why are you crying?" his voice trembled.

He was so scared. His face became pale and his hand was shaking as he hold it out to catch her arm. She drew back.

"Remus, I don't think you want to know." said Ginny. Her voice was harsh. "Just do what you have to do and go away." she said coldly.

Remus looked severely at her. "Ginny, what's wrong?" He searched the answer in her eyes, but she gave him an icy look. "Let me see it." he said pointing her arm. "How did you hurt yourself?"

Ginny wanted to scream, she wanted to shout and tell him she had done it to herself, because she hated herself, because she hated her family, but she stood silent and she just observed him. She was so afraid, frightened that he might understand.

"Remus, I won't tell you another time." replied Ginny trying to sound the more convincing as possible. "Just go away." she whispered.

He didn't. He didn't go away. He stood just in front of her and approached. She felt trapped, trapped between the wall and him.

"What's happening to you?" Remus asked. His tone was so soft and caring. Ginny closed her eyes as hot tears kept falling from her green eyes. That was a dream. That was a nightmare, there was no Remus in front of her, there was nobody with her.

She locked her eyes in his. Such a painful look.

"Ginny...-" he whispered. Remus stretched out a hand, trying to touch her, to reach her. She moved away.

"Remus, I said already. Stop this." ordered Ginny with a cracking voice. "What are you doing here?" She asked, he didn't reply. "Just go away."

"What did you do to your arm?" he repeated firmly. "How did you hurt?"

Ginny stood silent, looking at him, with tears spinning from her eyes. She was shaking violently and she felt empted. Remus was gazing at her with an enquiring look. Ginny had no options, she couldn't say that she had injured herself, nothing was credible, these wounds were too deep, and there was the knife, on the floor, just behind Remus, he hadn't noticed it. _Yet._

However, she couldn't hide the truth, he would have understood.

"Go. Away." she repeated pronouncing every word clearly. But he didn't, he was so determined. He wanted to know.

"I won't go away, Ginny." Remus whispered.

"What do you want?" Ginny spit out with rage. "Who asked you to come here?"

"I want to help you...-" the Werewolf replied.

"I don't need help!" exclaimed Ginny. "I don't need anybody."

"That's a lie, Ginny, you need someone, you need protection, you need love." he explained calmly to her, but the girl didn't want to listen.

"I don't need anybody." she replied furiously.

"Why did you do that?"

Her old teacher was insisting. Too much for what she liked. She couldn't escape this time, she couldn't refuge in her world, she just had to speak, to say the truth. Part of her was relief, part of her wanted to be embraced, wanted to be understood, but at the same time, she didn't want anyone to know, she wanted to remain hidden, her true nature, her true self didn't want to come to face the truth.

"There's nothing wrong with me, Remus." whispered Ginny. "I'm Ok. I'm tired, I want to go to sleep."

"You won't go anywhere." replied obstinate the Werewolf. "Unless you tell me what's wrong with you. I've noticed, Ginny, I've noticed how nervous you are, how sad is the look on your face, how...-" he looked down and stopped. "Please, I'm here to help you, I won't hurt you."

She was shaking as a prey trapped by the predator.

"Let me be." she replied. She prayed.

"I won't." said Remus. "You're ruining your life...-"

"It's MY life, Remus! Not yours!" she shouted. Ginny knew she had to pay attention, she couldn't scream like that, somebody could get up. "Remus, _please_, go away. You won't change anything..."

The Werewolf shook his head, and Ginny sighed distraught. "_Please..._" she prayed. She prayed with tears on her face, on her beautiful green eyes, so swollen for the intensity of the cry. She didn't want him, even though she knew he would have helped her. Ginny didn't want to be saved.

"Stop crying, Ginny...-" he blathered.

The girl smiled sadly at the sound of his voice. _Stop crying –_ how many times, had she tried? How many times had she decided to stop hurting herself? "I'm not able, Remus. I can't stop suffering." she whispered in the silence of the house.

"Did you hurt yourself, didn't you?" asked Remus pointing at her arm. "I've saw scars on your arms also this evening. Let me heal you." he approached, taking some steps forward.

"Stay away!" exclaimed Ginny trying to move away, but she couldn't there was the wall behind her.

"Stop this. It's ridiculous!"

She looked at him with rage. _Ridiculous_ he said?

"You don't know anything about me!" she exclaimed, "How do you allow to judge me?" She was furious.

"I'm sorry Ginny, you're not in yourself. Come on, come out, we'll talk." he indicated the garden. It was just few hours ago that they had talked there. Her parents could get up, and he didn't want them to see Ginny, not _now._

"I won't follow you anywhere." she replied coldly, with a challenging look.

Her old teacher took her wrist in his hand and tried to drag her out.

"Stop it! You're hurting me..." she complained. But he was stronger than her and she couldn't struggle against his hold. He pushed her out with no such difficulty, closing the door behind him and locking it magically.

It was dark, so dark that they couldn't see each other. There were no stars in the sky, nor the moon. A cold breeze blew and Ginny shivered.

"Is it too cold?" asked Remus worried. Ginny shook her head. "Let me see your arm." he ordered gently, but the girl didn't want to obey. She kept her arm tightened to her chest, as if it was part of her soul.

"I know what's happening to you, I'm not a stupid, Ginny." he muttered in the dark.

"Why do you pretend to care?" she asked angrily.

Remus looked at her shocked. "I don't recognize you any more, Ginny."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Are you so shocked to see the real Ginny, Remus? Is it this your problem? I'm sorry if I've disappointed you."

The Werewolf shook his head. "I'm not _disappointed_ Ginny. I'm wondering how you can keep everything inside of yourself? How can you keep all this pain hidden?"

She stared blankly at him. She didn't know how. She often wondered, but she never answered herself. It was part of her being, pretending that everything was perfect, always. She was so.

"Ginny, stop hiding..." he whispered. A gust of wind embraced her. "_Please._" it was his time to pray. The girl looked intensely at Remus who was gazing at her with a firm look. Her eyes lingered on his hand, he was _shaking._ Why was he trembling? There was rage inside of her, pure rage, but another feeling started to grow, relief. She would have talked, she knew it.

"Why do you care?" she insisted.

"I'm worried for you, Ginny." he replied. "I care for you."

She felt so ashamed and embarrassed. Why Remus had to discover her? Why not daddy? Or mum? She began to sob, unable to keep the pain inside of her any more. Her eyes were filled with tears, and however much she wanted to be strong, she couldn't do anything to keep the salty drops from sliding down her face. She felt hopeless and defeated, and she hated what she was, what she had become.

Remus approached her slowly. As he reached her, the Werewolf embraced her and Ginny hid her face in his chest, feeling warm. She kept sobbing, letting everything out.

"Let it go, Ginny. Let it go...-" he whispered in her hear tightening the embrace. "Stop keeping it in yourself."

She felt safe in his arms, safe for the first time in her life. It was a soft, tender embrace in which she always hoped, and that had never arrived. As he tightened the embrace, to be nearer to her, she felt a strong grip to her heart. What was that feeling? She couldn't breath for the intensity of the feelings that were growing inside of her. They stood so for a long time. Nobody of them could say how much time had passed as Ginny untied the embrace.

"Is it better?" asked Remus caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes and touched his hand. It was large and strong so big confronting it with her little hand. "Ginny, you're not alone." he said clasping her hand. She nodded silently, but she didn't really believe.

"Promise me, Remus," she started with a harsh trembling voice. "Promise me that you'll always be here with me." she whispered looking intently at his eyes shining in the night. "Promise me." she repeated.

"I will, Ginny." he replied sure of himself. "I've always been here, I'll always be."

She nodded as she kept caressing his hand not knowing why.

"Now, let me see your arm." said Remus.

Ginny stretched it out. The blood now was darker and dry. With a few spells everything was up to normal. No blood, no signs, no wounds.

"You're so skinny...-" he observed looking at her wrists and at her arm.

Ginny locked her eyes in his. "I know." She replied coldly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't intend to...-"

"I know, Remus." she interrupted him. She turned and closed her eyes. She felt ripped, as never in her life. She was defeated and now that Remus knew, she was afraid that everybody could see the "real" Ginny. She wanted to ask him something, but she wasn't brave enough. Her heart was pounding violently inside her, pressing her to ask him, but her mind was silently ordering to shut up. But Ginny knew she would have asked so she spit out "Why do you care?"

Remus sighed, looking intensely at Ginevra Weasley, the only girl of the red-heads family. _Why did he care?_ He knew perfectly. But he tried to hide to himself, thinking that for him Ginevra was a friend.

But Ginny wasn't a friend, deep inside he knew it.

"I know what it means to suffer." he replied whispering in the night.

She nodded. She never thought that people could face a stronger life than hers. She never thought that people could suffer more. Remus surely was one of that people, what he had to face was something stronger. She felt so stupid, so naïve.

The sky roared. A storm was approaching, but none of them wanted to leave. The wind grew and the leaves rustled noisily. Ginny shivered again and embraced herself.

She didn't hear Remus' footsteps approaching so she jerked as he covered her with his soft embrace. She leaned her head against his arm.

"I'm stupid, Remus I know." she blathered softly.

"You're not, Ginny," he replied harshly resting his chin on her head. "You're one of the most intelligent girl I know."

"Hermione is the most intelligent, I'm not...-"

"Stop hating yourself, Ginny." he interrupted her with a stronger voice. "You're intelligent, you're sensible and...-"

_And?_ Asked Ginny in herself.

Remus stood silent. A lighting brightened the sky and few seconds later a thunder roared. The rain began to fall, intensely, soaking their clothes. Ginny's hair stuck to her cheek and shivers came through her whole body.

The girl turned herself and faced the Werewolf whose eyes were darkened. She locked her green soft eyes in his and asked "And, what Remus?" her voice was full of expectation, her heart was waiting for that _and..._

"And now it's better to go inside. It's late and you need to sleep." said coldly untying the embrace. Ginny arched an eyebrow. "What?" she asked moving a step forward.

"You need to go to bed." he repeated. "You must be tired, I'm tired too."

She stared at him blankly. "Are you serious, Remus?" she asked upset.

He didn't reply.

"I can't believe you." blathered Ginny angry. "I can't really believe you." she repeated.

The Werewolf stood silent.

"You're just like everyone else." she whispered. Without warning she ran into the forest around the Borrow. It was always the same play. Someone said he cared for her, was gentle and tender, she trusted him, opening her heart. Her naivety was always punished, they always stabbed her heart, betraying her. She felt joked. All what he said, was just meant to keep her quite. He wanted to calm her down and that was all. Because tomorrow he would have forgot, and he wouldn't have cared. She kept running, trying to forget everything, trying to forget the love she felt as he embraced her, the feeling of completeness she had experienced. She ran trying not to cry.

The rain was falling incessantly and strongly. She was completely wet and her clothes were soaked. The ground was mud and it splashed as she passed on it. He was chasing her, she didn't want him to reach her. But suddenly her ankle twisted and she fell to the ground.

"Don't you ever try to escape." he muttered breathing heavily.

Ginny turned around, soaked with mud and rain and looked at him standing above her. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest, and it was not only for the run. "You've just demonstrated that you don't care for me..." she whispered.

"I thought I demonstrated you that I cared." he replied with a darker tone.

"Then why did you not reply to me?" asked Ginny angry. "You _are_ just like everybody, don't pretend to be someone you're not."

"Ginny," he sighed watching the sky. The rain gently fell down his face. "I care for you more than for myself. I care for you in a way I shouldn't care. I care for you not as a teacher, nor as a father." he whispered slowly.

The girl caught every single word he had said and she was stunned. How could she had never understood? That was clear... His interest, his pressing questions, his looks. She closed her eyes, remembering her embarrassment when she was in her second year and she had a crush on him. She forgot to breathe. "Do you mean...?" she stopped, not brave enough to finish the sentence.

Remus now didn't look at her, he wasn't strong enough. Ginevra was just a _girl_, and he had not the right to involve her in _his_ problem.

"Merlin's sake Remus!" exclaimed Ginny. "What is it?" she was so afraid that he might have told her that... That...

_What?_

She hadn't the courage to tell herself. The Werewolf tried to walk away, but Ginny blocked him, getting up and standing in front of him. There was strength, braveness and fierceness in her eyes, something Remus had never saw for too long. He studied her firm eyes not able to look away.

"W-What..." she cleared her voice, trying to sound more decisive. "What did you intend to say?"

Her eyes were full of expectations and she was waiting to hear him saying _it_. She felt something for Remus, that was more than just gratitude. It was the nearest thing to love she had ever experienced.

"Don't do this to me, Ginny." he pleaded looking away.

She didn't reply, waiting anxiously for him to talk.

"This is all wrong, this is...-" he stopped searching for the right word. He found it, it was not appropriate for what he felt towards her, but it was the right word to say. "This is _sick._" His voice sounded hard and dry.

"Why do you think so, Remus?" asked Ginny hurt for how he defined it.

"Merlin's sake Ginny, you could be _my daughter!_" he exclaimed, squeezing his head between his hands.

"But I'm not." replied the red-head firmly. She had never been so sure of herself since now. "I'm not your daughter Remus. I'm not." she repeated again and again.

"You're half my age..." the Werewolf whispered in the rain that kept falling more noisy, more intensely.

"It's just a _number_." Ginny replied. "Who cares?"

"I do!" he shouted struggling with himself. "Nothing can happen, I've told you, I won't hurt you..." he muttered, "You shouldn't have known." he took out his wand.

She looked at him stunned. "What?" she asked angrily. "Do you want to obliviate me?" her eyes were furious. "Do you think this would change anything? Even if you obliviate me, you will remember, you'll always remember me here. Do you want to suffer again?"

Remus didn't know what to say, he was shaking his head. He moved forward and pushed Ginny away.

"Remus stop!" she exclaimed taking his hand and blocking him. He shivered at the contact. If only this little girl knew the influence she had on him.

"Ginny, don't be ridiculous, just let me go." he ordered, but she didn't obey.

"I won't, Remus." she whispered. "You need me. Just as I need you. Why do you deny it?"

Remus smiled madly closing his eyes. "This is _sick_. I shouldn't have ever talked with you. If Arthur knew he would probably kill me, and he would be right. I just don't want to know what Molly would say."

"And I don't want to know what my mother and my father would say if they knew about _me._" replied Ginny with a harsh tone.

"I've already told you, Ginny... I don't want to hurt you," he repeated trying to convince himself, "And I would hurt you if..." he stopped disgusted. "I can't even _think_ about it!"

Ginny looked at him confused. "How can you think that you would _hurt_ me?" she asked astonished. "You're the sweetest thing that ever crossed my life. _How could you hurt me?_"

The Werewolf lost in the beauty of her eyes, of her long red hair sweat for the rain that gently caressed her face. He was lost in the delicateness of her whole being, in the fragility of her soul, hidden by a mask of frigidness and aggressiveness. He wanted so much to reach her, to touch the _real_ Ginny.

"I would hurt you Ginny, because we are too different." he explained calmly.

She shook her head. "I've knew only people who didn't care about me, who didn't respect me and who cheated on me just for their pleasure. I've always been betrayed and used as a _thing._" she whispered speaking slowly and watching him intensely. "And _you_ Remus, are the first one who demonstrated that you _care_ for me, that you _really_ care. You listened to me, you embraced me... Do you know from how long I wasn't embraced? I mean a _real_ embrace?" she asked with trembling and touched voice.

He just stared blankly at her, his heart beating furiously and pressing in his chest. He didn't want to listen, this was all wrong.

"Ginny...-"

"Oh, shut up!" she exclaimed approaching to him. He was a little afraid, because he knew that if she pushed him too far he would have reacted. She stretched out a hand slowly, trying to touch him. His skin wasn't tender under her touch, it was full of scars and wounds and she knew why. Her heart grew bigger and was heavy so heavy inside of her. She trembled, facing something she never experienced before. "Remus I...-"

A strong thunder covered her voice, but he recognized the movement of her lips.

_I love you._

She had said.

A part of Remus jerked in joy and surprise, but his rational part ordered him to finish this, not even to think about it. Who should he listen to? What should he do?

Ginny's eyes brightened in the cold and dark night as stars. Her gaze was fierce, firm but soft and tender too.

Remus felt a grip on his heart, a strong hold in his chest and he wasn't able to breath. She was just 18. _18!_ She was the Weasley's daughter. She had been her _student!_

"I need you, Remus." Ginny whispered, leaning a hand on his chest.

_Oh God._ Her voice was delicate, just as her whole being. There was pain and suffering in her eyes and he just wanted to keep her in his arms, whispering gentle words in her ear and cradling her in his arms. He wanted to kiss her lips, her red, swollen lips that were slightly opened calling for him. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to love her.

And she was saying that she wanted that too? Then why couldn't he take her in his arms?

Without warning she raised on tiptoes and approached to him. Ginny could feel his hard breathing on her mouth. She studied his eyes, so full of pain and sorrow and then looked at his thin lips. Slowly she leaned her lips against his, kissing him softly. One of her hand, reached his hair, hiding in it and strongly holding it.

Something groaned inside of Remus, even though he knew he had to feel stunned and had to reject her. But he wasn't able, so he returned the kissed.

From a chaste tender kiss, it became something more passionate. They were holding on each other, through their kiss, exploring the other's mouth, trying to possess them. Ginny closed her eyes as she felt his grip on her waist and she moaned softly when he began caressing her. She clanged on his strong shoulders as if her life depended to him, but in a certain way, her life really depended on him.

They weren't breathing, trying to capture the other's essence, the other's soul. Remus pushed his hips against her waist and Ginny smiled slightly. She caressed his neck, tracing soft kisses on his skin and the Werewolf groaned for pleasure. She touched his chest, with her soft and delicate hands and tried to free him from his clothes, but he managed to do himself. And so she smiled watching the pale naked skin in the dark storm that was surrounding them.

She took away her t-shirt, remaining just with her bra and she smiled when she saw the lustful look he gave to her. She gave him a chaste kiss on his lips, then began to unbutton his trousers.

The Werewolf was moaning, moving against her hand that was caressing his erection. He seized Ginny's neck between his hands then he hid his face in the hollow of her shoulder, breathing her perfume.

"Stop it...-" he blathered tracing hard kisses down her neck. "Stop it..." his voice was darkened and deeper, full of lust and desire. "Because I can't stop myself." he kept whispering in her ear.

"I want this just as much as you want it." she whispered lustily.

He locked his eyes in hers. The sweet, tender look was gone. Instead there was a strong, hard gaze full of desire. It should have frightened Ginny, it should have warned her, but she didn't even care. She wanted him, just as much as he wanted her.

It was the point of no return and both of them knew it.

Remus lifted the girl and laid her down on a tree. "Are you sure?" he asked for the last time.

Ginny nodded, caressing his shoulders. She guided his head towards her, leaning her lips on his and kissing him fiercely, wanting more from the man in front of her.

Remus embraced the girl, touching her sensitive spots and Ginny began to moan softly. He took away her bra and studied intensely her breasts covered by the raindrops. He picked a nipple in his hand and the girl arched moving her hips against his. He groaned.

He loved the way she responded to his touch. He loved her fragility, and Ginny loved his gentle touch. She had never knew a man so caring and comforting. She smiled and jerked as he bit hard on her nipple, she liked it.

As Remus slid one finger in her, Ginny arched again towards him, wanting more, wanting _him_. "Remus, please..." she moaned.

The Werewolf didn't made her wait and positioned in front of her. For a second a painful expression substituted his lustful look, but Ginny took one of his hand and put it on her breast, near to her heart.

"Can you feel it?" she asked softly. "It beats so strongly and fast not because I'm afraid." she whispered. "I'm not afraid of you, Werewolf." she muttered in his ear. "I want this and I'm waiting."

He looked at her, wanting to excuse with her. Remus knew this should not have happened. Remus knew that he shouldn't have pushed him so far. He should have not allow this. But now it was too late, too late to regret his, their decisions. So he obeyed to his heart and to his instincts.

He was gentle as he pushed into her, he was careful not to hurt her, just as he promised. He waited once inside, giving her the time to adjust.

As Ginny moaned he began to move, loving and hating at the same time what he was doing, experiencing something he had never, ever experienced with every other woman. Ginny on the other side, loved every single move he did, the way he care and the fact that he was maintaining his promise.

He wasn't hurting her. She _knew_ he would have never hurt her.

"Remus, please..." whispered Ginny in pain. "I need more."

The man began pounding into her faster and stronger. Her back scraped against tree's bark, but she didn't feel anything apart from pleasure.

"Ginny..." he moaned reaching the edge.

They collapsed, falling to the wet ground, with the rain falling on their naked body, washing away the sin in which they had fallen. Ginny hid herself between his arms, finding them so comforting and safe and he held her tight as if he didn't want to let her go.

"This should have never happened." said coldly Remus gently caressing her head.

"I don't care, Remus." replied harshly Ginny. "You've promised me, you'll always be with me."

"I won't hurt you, never."


End file.
